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| JaneBennet |
 Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 6:16 am Post subject: Mathematics jokes |
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#1
Two mathematicians are in a bar, having an argument. One claims that the average person knows very little about mathematics while the other disagrees, saying that most people can cope with maths very well.
The first mathematician goes off to the washroom. The second mathematician then calls the waitress over and tells her, âWhen my friend comes back, Iâm going to ask you a question. All you have to do is answer, âOne third x cubed.â Understand?â
The waitress looks a bit surprised. âYou mean you want me to say âŠâ
âYes,â says the mathematician, ââone third x cubedâ, thatâs all. Can you say it? âOne third x cubedââ âŠâ he repeats the phrase over and over, and makes the waitress say it over and over again until he is satisfied that she has got it all memorized.
The first mathematician returns and his friend proposes a bet to prove his point, that most people do know something about maths. He says he will ask the blonde waitress a simple calculus question, and the first mathematician laughingly agrees. The second mathematician calls over the waitress and asks: âWhat is the integral of x squared?â
âOne third x cubed,â replies the waitress, to the astonishment of the first mathematician and the chuckling delight of the other. She walks away, but in a moment she returns to their table and says, "Plus an arbitrary constant.â
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| Selene |
| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 6:37 am Post subject: |
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Banned
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.....................
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Last edited by Selene on Fri May 30, 2008 12:18 am; edited 1 time in total |
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| Chemboy |
| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 10:25 am Post subject: Re: Mathematics jokes |
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| JaneBennet wrote: |
#1
Two mathematicians are in a bar, having an argument. One claims that the average person knows very little about mathematics while the other disagrees, saying that most people can cope with maths very well.
The first mathematician goes off to the washroom. The second mathematician then calls the waitress over and tells her, âWhen my friend comes back, Iâm going to ask you a question. All you have to do is answer, âOne third x cubed.â Understand?â
The waitress looks a bit surprised. âYou mean you want me to say âŠâ
âYes,â says the mathematician, ââone third x cubedâ, thatâs all. Can you say it? âOne third x cubedââ âŠâ he repeats the phrase over and over, and makes the waitress say it over and over again until he is satisfied that she has got it all memorized.
The first mathematician returns and his friend proposes a bet to prove his point, that most people do know something about maths. He says he will ask the blonde waitress a simple calculus question, and the first mathematician laughingly agrees. The second mathematician calls over the waitress and asks: âWhat is the integral of x squared?â
âOne third x cubed,â replies the waitress, to the astonishment of the first mathematician and the chuckling delight of the other. She walks away, but in a moment she returns to their table and says, "Plus an arbitrary constant.â |
I laughed really hard at that...am I a geek? 
Selene, I enjoyed yours as well.
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| DivideByZero |
| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 1:21 pm Post subject: |
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Forum Junior
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 247
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Why being a mathematician is the coolest:
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.
"Aha," says the engineer, "I see that Scottish sheep are black."
"Hmm," says the physicist, "You mean that some Scottish sheep are black."
"No," says the mathematician, "All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!" |
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| JaneBennet |
| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 5:08 pm Post subject: |
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Forum Ph.D.
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| Chemboy wrote: |
| I laughed really hard at that...am I a geek? |
Yeah, me too. 
Letâs keep the jokes coming!
#4
One day a mathematician decides to quit his job and become a fireman. The fire chief says, âWell, you look like a good guy. Iâll be glad to hire you, but first I have to give you a little test.â
The fire chief takes the mathematcian to the alley behind the fire department which contains a wooden shed, a spigot, and a hose. The chief then says, âOkay, youâre walking in the alley and you notice the wooden shed here on fire. What do you do?â
The mathematician replies, âWell, I hook up the hose to the spigot, turn the water on, and put out the fire.â
The chief says, âThatâs great! Perfect. Now I have to ask you just one more question. What do you do if youâre walking down the alley but the shed is not on fire?â
The mathematician puzzles over the question for a while before saying, âI set the shed on fire.â
The chief yells, âWhat? Thatâs a terrible thing to do! Why would you want to set fire to the shed?â
The mathematician replies, âWell, that way I reduce the problem to one Iâve already solved.â
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| PritishKamat |
| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 10:57 pm Post subject: |
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Nice One! 
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Beyond Equations,
Pritish |
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| thyristor |
| Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 3:51 am Post subject: |
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There are only 10 sorts of people, those who understand computer programming and those who don't.
Get it? 
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373 13231-mbm-13231 373 |
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| dejawolf |
| Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 5:08 am Post subject: |
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| thyristor wrote: |
There are only 10 sorts of people, those who understand computer programming and those who don't.
Get it? |
there are only one-zero sorts of people 
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only a fool puts art above science. |
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| JaneBennet |
| Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 7:55 am Post subject: |
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| thyristor wrote: |
| There are only 10 sorts of people, those who understand computer programming and those who don't. |
Most people belong to the 10nd group.
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| thyristor |
| Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 11:28 am Post subject: |
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True 
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373 13231-mbm-13231 373 |
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| JaneBennet |
| Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Feifer |
| Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 10:32 pm Post subject: |
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an oldie but goody... still makes me chuckle |
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| bit4bit |
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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Joined: 14 Jul 2007
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lol, so that's just $0.002 ?
@Jane bennet, I've seen that one before, funny one
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| Chemboy |
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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| bit4bit wrote: |
lol, so that's just $0.002 ?
@Jane bennet, I've seen that one before, funny one |
It's $1.002 if I'm not mistaken.
And yeah, the last one from Jane Bennet is great. 
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| accountabled |
| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 4:43 am Post subject: |
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