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| Hanuka |
 Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 12:48 pm Post subject: J0k3s!!! |
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Forum Masters Degree
Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 545
Location: The 10th Kingdom xD
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Where did all the joke threads go?? 
`nehowz I have some good ones 
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Learn To Pay Attention!!!
First-year students at Auburn University's Vet School were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In vet medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor:
The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal?s body. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck it in ! his mouth.
"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."
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4 Religious Truths:
1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian World.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.
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Gotta Love the Irish
An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.
When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!
'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?'
The Irishman nodded...'I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.'
'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor.
'No, from the bloooody skippin'!
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Now show me wut u've got
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| 425 Chaotic Requisition |
| Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 1:06 pm Post subject: |
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The Doctor
Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Posts: 3176
Location: Somewhere, nowhere.
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Could I say anything funny? I doubt it.
There is a thread somewhere in the Trash Can called 'HUmour in the trash'.
HUmour in the trash
Its named 'HU' deliberatly, in the abbreviation of the administrator, Homouniversalis here. It was coined by the old Moderator, namely 'Megabrain'. Whom was he still here the old sage, would make me 3rd top poster, and to become the top poster would give me a bleak climb to the speed of light in eqivalent of posts  .
There's my joke. Funny I came up with that naturally. Moving along....
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| Hanuka |
| Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 1:15 pm Post subject: |
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Forum Masters Degree
Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 545
Location: The 10th Kingdom xD
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| 425 Chaotic Requisition |
| Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 1:18 pm Post subject: |
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The Doctor
Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Posts: 3176
Location: Somewhere, nowhere.
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Hm. CaramellDansen. I told you the past creeps up on you. 
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| Hanuka |
| Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 1:29 pm Post subject: |
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Forum Masters Degree
Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 545
Location: The 10th Kingdom xD
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Lol! for some reason it makes me laugh every time I see it
Wuts better that it's Garaa and Rock Lee!!!! 
Here's an every funnyer version!
A misheard carameldansen!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miEv85LW2TE
Hahahahahaah@!!!!1!!!!1
lolz i know that it's like chick's stuff `n all but its too damn funny
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| Hanuka |
| Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 2:11 pm Post subject: Picturezzzz |
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Forum Masters Degree
Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 545
Location: The 10th Kingdom xD
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Here are some funny pictures that I have around me desktop:
And for the more savvy here's another one:
Cheers!!!
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| 425 Chaotic Requisition |
| Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:41 pm Post subject: |
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The Doctor
Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Posts: 3176
Location: Somewhere, nowhere.
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Whats funny about 'You make Jesus cry'? The fact you find it funny is actually a little insulting to me. Mind you, even if it was someone else other than Jesus, laughing at someone crying is hardly civilised now is it?
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| markk |
| Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 2:49 am Post subject: Good Joke |
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Forum Freshman
Joined: 01 Aug 2008
Posts: 18
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I like the Irish joke, thats a good one.
I have one for you:
There was a man driving along the motorway, not paying attention where he was going and he suddenly crashes into another car.
Both cars pull over to the hard shoulder, and the man gets out.
He then sees the drivers door of the other car opening and a dwarf gets out.
The bloke says to the dwarf "sorry mate, are you all right?"
The dwarf replies "I'm not happy"
The man then replies back with "ok, which one are you then?".
I find it funny!
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| Hanuka |
| Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 3:23 am Post subject: |
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Forum Masters Degree
Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 545
Location: The 10th Kingdom xD
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ooooh, lolz I got it! (i think  ) hah!
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| fusion376 |
| Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 12:42 am Post subject: Bush Joke |
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Forum Freshman
Joined: 30 Jul 2008
Posts: 16
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A bicycle repairman?!!!
Bush and Powell are sitting in a bar. Santa walks in and asks the barman, “Isn`t that Bush and Powell?“
The barman says “Yep, thats them.“
So the Santa walks over and says, “Hello, what are you guys doing?“
And Bush says, “We`re planning world war 3“
And Santa says, “Really? What`s going to happen?“
And Bush says, “Well, we`re going to kill 140 million Afghans this time and one bicycle repairman.“
And Santa exclaimed, “A bicycle repairman?!!!“
So Bush turns to Powell and says, “ See, I told you no-one would worry about the 140 million Afghans!“
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| markk |
| Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:32 am Post subject: |
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| Cat1981(England) |
| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:52 pm Post subject: |
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Forum Ph.D.
Joined: 09 Sep 2006
Posts: 925
Location: Mind your own business
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The Irish Space Agency today announced a plan to put a man on the sun. As journalists gathered at the press conference the first question was asked.
So Mr Murphy, how do you plan to overcome the huge technical difficulties in putting a man on the sun?
(Insert Irish accent) Well we've given it a lot of thought, and we've decided to go at night.......
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| JaneBennet |
| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 5:05 pm Post subject: |
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Forum Ph.D.
Joined: 06 Apr 2008
Posts: 801
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| Cat1981(England) wrote: |
The Irish Space Agency today announced a plan to put a man on the sun. As journalists gathered at the press conference the first question was asked.
So Mr Murphy, how do you plan to overcome the huge technical difficulties in putting a man on the sun?
(Insert Irish accent) Well we've given it a lot of thought, and we've decided to go at night....... |
That’s not the original version. The original version had G.W. Bush in it.
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Fact of the day: Old English |
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| Hanuka |
| Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 7:48 pm Post subject: |
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Forum Masters Degree
Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 545
Location: The 10th Kingdom xD
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lawl!
fusion, cat; good ones 
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| i_feel_tiredsleepy |
| Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 11:33 pm Post subject: |
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Forum Ph.D.
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 601
Location: Montreal
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| JaneBennet wrote: |
| Cat1981(England) wrote: |
The Irish Space Agency today announced a plan to put a man on the sun. As journalists gathered at the press conference the first question was asked.
So Mr Murphy, how do you plan to overcome the huge technical difficulties in putting a man on the sun?
(Insert Irish accent) Well we've given it a lot of thought, and we've decided to go at night....... |
That’s not the original version. The original version had G.W. Bush in it. |
It's one of those jokes that varies depending on which leader or country is considered stereotypically stupid where the joke is told.
Here is a joke from a Roddy Doyle novel,
What do women, children, and dogs have in common?
The more you beat them, the better they behave.
Not that I support violence against women  |
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